From: http://www.bash.org/?top

#120296 +(8931)- [X]

::link:: once upon a midnight dreary, while i pron surfed, weak and weary, over many a strange and spurious site of ‘ hot xxx galore’. While i clicked my fav’rite bookmark, suddenly there came a warning, and my heart was filled with mourning, mourning for my dear amour, ” ‘Tis not possible!”, i muttered, ” give me back my free hardcore!”….. quoth the server, 404.
::hokage:: cries, scary….

Jenn: so i’m reviewing the mammography lecture
i would hate to be a radiologist for mammographies alone
they are just a jumbled mess of crud
me: sexy
Jenn: and the text talks about “the obvious 2cm mass in the inferior lateral region of the left breast” and i’m thinking “WTF? it’s all a gigantic mass!”
me: “that’s hot baby, show me your jumbled mess of crud”
Jenn: haha

(Joe and Jenn, after Joe watches the last Voyager, the second of Joe’s favorite shows about humans getting stranded in distant space going home)

Surfrock66: I wanna go on a far away space ship and be stranded :(
JoesSilentAngel: :)
Surfrock66: Ima build a space ship
JoesSilentAngel: sigh
Surfrock66: wanna help?
JoesSilentAngel: well, ok
Surfrock66: ok
Surfrock66: we’ll form 2 teams
Surfrock66: design and implementation
Surfrock66: I’ll do design, you implement
Surfrock66: ok,
Surfrock66: design aspect 1:
Surfrock66: has to go light speed
Surfrock66: awesome
Surfrock66: you get on the implement part of that
Surfrock66: design aspect 2:
Surfrock66: big cup holders to hold intergalactic sized smoothies
Surfrock66: knew I wouldn’t make it easy for you huh.
Surfrock66: design aspect 3: metaphasic deflection shielding
Surfrock66: I think you can handle that one
JoesSilentAngel: man, dat’s not really fair!!!
JoesSilentAngel: you get all the easy work
Surfrock66: no way!
Surfrock66: fine, if you need to be a ninny
JoesSilentAngel: :(
Surfrock66: I’ll work on the cup holder
JoesSilentAngel: but pinkin!!! dat’s da easiest one!
Surfrock66: ;-)
JoesSilentAngel: sigh

How To Be A Kevin:

Attire:
    Camouflage Bucket Hat, Preferably Slightly Worn
    Flannel Shirt with Plaid Pattern, Preferably Green
        Sleeves Rolled Up To Just Below Elbow
        Front Must Be Completely Un-Buttoned
    Green T-Shirt Under Flannel Shirt
    Dark Jeans
    White/Light Colored Sneakers, Preferably Velcro

Grooming:
    Handlebar Moustache, No Other Facial Hair
    Long Hair, Possibly Mulleted, Obscured By Hat
    Cleanliness Level Equal To That Of One Day Worth of Outdoor Activity

Items To Possess:
    Budweiser Heavy Beer Can (In Hand)
    Drivers License (Left Front Pants Pocket)
    Additional Cards (Left Front Pants Pocket)
    Folded Paper (Left Front Pants Pocket)
    Single One Dollar Bill (Left Front Pants Pocket)

Items Not To Possess Under Any Circumstances:
    Coozie Cup
    Keys
    One Hundred Dollar Bill
    Jesus’s head (body Is Appropriate If head Is Removed)

Quotes to Say:

• “If you really know the domestic violence thing, I’ve been attacked a buncha times!”
• “She broke Jesus’s head off on my headlight!”
• “I never, punched, a woman, or anybody, I don’t even punch, nobody.”
• “Let me drink the rest of my beer, will ya!”
• “You need a beer!”
• “Why, I’m in my yard, I didn’t do nothing!”
• “I didn’t drink enough!”
• “Well I need my keys to lock my truck up with my 800 dollars worth of shit with my house and my boat and my everything!”
• “Ok, I just need my keys, and a beer, and enough money to buy some more.”
• “We just got your daughter from the skating rink, with the boat on the back!”
• “I’m sick of that little girl, call her momma a whore!”
• “I hope your daughter takes you where you need to go!”
• “Yea, I know what!”
• “Can you give me some money back for some beer?”
• “So you’re gonna leave me with a dollar?”
• “You got your prescription money for your pills!”
• “With a dollar?”
• “Dollar ain’t gonna go too far in Palm Beach County.”
• “I’m gonna go over there and get mugged by the crack dealers!”
• “Can I have my beer?”
• “Where am I gonna go with a dollar and a beer?”
• “I don’t even have a coozie cup.”