me: do we have documentation of that?
    we have $**** in checking right now

Jenn: its been documented in the record
    eek, not much
    i expected more....

me: ?
    savings is $**,***
    I moved 4 grand over a while ago
    $**,*** total
    :)

Jenn: oh

me: and we get paid next weekend

Jenn: i didn't realize you moved money around
    from checking to savings?

me: yup, earning that interest
    This is me
    This is  it
    you see there?
    I'm on top of it.

Jenn: haha
    i get it :-D

Ok, so anyone that knows me knows I have a TERRIBLE fear of spiders. Like, deathly shaking and screaming and running away. So, anyway, I get home from work today and go in the kitchen and in the middle of the floor is a huge, monster, big enough to eat Rygel spider. In real terms, his whole legspan was about a half-dollar coin. Jenn wasn't home yet to take care of it for me. (She gets the spiders, I get the snakes, it's an arrangement that works well.)

Rather than run screaming into the wilderness, I man up to handle the situation. Mostly this decision was motivated by the fact that Rygel and I are still in a little bit of a dominance struggle in the new house, and I have to show who takes care of business, long story. I sternly command Rygel to sit (yea, I'm freaking out at this point) and jump across the room to grab a wad of paper towels, and hover down and position myself to kill it with one huge smash. I lean in about 6 inches away, take a deep breath, and...

SMASH!

I hit the ground with such great force the neighbors probably thought I was bowling. BUT??? Suddenly the beast crawls out from under my paper towel wad! I'm absolutely freaking out now, and just start smashing it with the towel, and it doesn't die, even after like 3 direct hits! Rygel finally forgets the command and sees the moving thing, which is interesting, so he comes over, and fearing for his life from this poisonous monster I am screaming at him to go away. At one point the spider ran through his legs, and I just shoved him across the room. I once again commenced smashing, at this point screaming "DIE! DIE! DIE" literally at the top of my lungs. I know I'm one to tell stories, but that part is absolutely true, I was screaming the word "DIE!" over and over. Finally, I came down on him in some tile grout and dragged a bit, finally slaying the beast. The whole ordeal probably lasted 45 seconds.

He was flushed down the toilet, and I have been sitting here shaking ever since. My thumb is now swollen and sore because I hit the ground so hard so many times. I DO NOT FUCKING LIKE SPIDERS.

• On #UFC100: Me: "Who do you think is gonna win?" Wife: "All of them, they're all winners tonight in my book." Best answer ever. #
• uhh...I ordered it and UFC 100 isn't showing up on my comcast...black screen, no pre-show...if it fails I'm cancelling service tomorrow. #
• I'm freaking out. Comcast doesn't work, Verizon doesn't work, it's seriously like I'm living in a fucking third world country. #
• if I have to go to hooters to watch UFC 100 and find out that now, I'm sending Comcast the bill. This is insane. #
• Jenn is on phone with them, screaming, demanding a partial refund for the 40 minutes we've missed so far. Such a good wife 🙂 #
• Not watching ufc 100. Comcast can't make it work, with no verizon anywhere near us can't call tech support, and BW3 full. I'm unglued, FML. #
• I live in a 3rd world country hellhole. I pay $300 a month for services they literally can't provide me, and I'm the bad guy. Kill me now. #
• I'm so frusturated. My cell contract is up 7/29, I'm getting rid of my cell and turning that # into my land line, fuck verizon..... #
• ....Comcast is trying to make it right, I'm within my 30 days so they're bending over backwards to retain me...we'll see how this goes. #
• Comcast fixed the PPV system, but I have 3 days to cancel service. HOA bans Sat dishes, risk it for better service? ccast burned me once... #
• Oh, and they refunded my $45 for the event, and in complaining about Verizon to they guy offered to throw in free phone if I sign for 24 mos #
• I may order a BS movie tomorrow, if it works, I will stay on cCast, get free land line and port my VZW # 2b our land line, and go cell-less #
• Dang, night of tirades. Frustrating when crap you pay lots for fails constantly, especially when you're a techie. To better days, night all. #
• ZOMG!!!111 JUST GOT A WOOT BAG OF CRAP AWESOME STAYING UP ALL NIGHT TOTALLY MADE WHOLE DAY BETTER! #
• Working on TTLLB.com, secret new site, even though it's not finished or officially launched traffic is already HUGE. I'm gonna be rich! #
• "Pirates vs. Ninjas dodgeball" for the wii came in yesterday...so excited, plus there's zombies, aliens, robots, monsters, and shrooms! WIN #
• shut down #

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• missed tweeting about our anniversary...Jenn and my 1 year was Sunday, thanks for the good wishes! #
• I need 8-9 hours a day of stuff to listen to. Lex and terry is 4 hours every day. Any podcast recommendations? #
• Official Google Blog: Introducing the Google Chrome OS: http://digg.com/d1w1Xm?t #
• Jenn and I wanna see: Crank 2, Transform 2, Year 1, Bruno, Hangover. Been too long since we saw a movie. #

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Rygel, our fantastic puppy, (http://www.facebook.com/rygel.woof) really likes people a lot. However, there's rules and a procedure for meeting him, and these must be strictly followed. Here are the rules, all laid out for all to know before meeting him.

IMPORTANT TO NOTE! We've extensively trained him to hold his bladder, but for a select few people (read: Leon and my Dad) he compulsively piddles every time he sees them. He's always done it to the 2 of them, and if you're part of this select group, you'll just have to get used to greeting him outside. He can't help it and it can't wait, we don't know if it's a smell or something, but he INSTANTLY pees.

RULES FOR MEETING RYGEL:

1. When he sees a new person, whether it's in the park, in his house, outside, wherever, he will bark and snarl at you. You will be convinced he will bite you, and he might, though we never let anyone get close enough. He is completely viscous sounding and is truly frightening. This is normal. (Side note: recently, 2 small children have met him, and he hasn't been interested or bothered, he simply ignores them. Not to encourage small children around him, but one was a Downs syndrome girl whose mom was walking through our old house and let the girl walk, and Rygel tolerated her poking very, very well.)
2. He will be on a leash or held tight by the collar while all his nastiness is going on. One of us (Jenn of I) will get a treat.
3. We will put the treat in his face, and grab his attention. There is a narrow window for this.
4. He will be told to sit, at which point the treat will be handed to you in full view of Rygel.
5. You will extend the non-treat hand, and both you and Jenn/Myself will say "shake hands" to which he will very politely extend a paw and shake your hand.
6. You give him the treat

And then all will be well. It's like a freaking "off" switch. Usually one routine of this is enough, occasionally he'll forget you next time you come around and we need to do it again, but it takes THAT TRICK for some crazy reason to make him OK with people. High Five doesn't work, nor does Roll Over, Play Dead, Stand Up, Lay Down, etc.

For warning to people who don't like dogs, he has no self control when it comes to addressing people he is friends with. He will sit in your lap. He will lick your face. He will bring you toys to play with. He will fall asleep on your leg. He is the most affectionate cuddler ever, and loves to play all day, but you have to get in his good graces first.